Matty's Journal
February 2009

Madaline Weber

New Read about the Galactic Transformer

New Ian's "One of a Kind" Jewelry pieces

13/ Road


Even the still wind has a voice.”

Navajo saying.


Fear is a dense state of being.


I find myself listening to ‘chatter’ in my head,  when I become conscious of the chatter, that’s when I go back to my heart speak.

‘Heart Speak’


Interesting,  when my heart speaks, I know I’m centered.


Here’s a personal story, 

I started smoking when I was 13, back then smoking was advertised by doctors, and athletes.

On the  big screen, it was so romantic.

The man would light both cigarettes, handing one to the lady.

They would look into one another’s eyes,

Feeling the love that they shared at that moment.


My parents didn’t smoke, they never did.


I, being the youngest of three, watching my brother who was eight yrs. older, and my sister, four years older.

They took up the habit with cigarettes.


I’ve stopped and started smoking so many times, I’ve lost count.

When I got introduced to my now sisters.

They smoked.

Leah  created her own blend, mostly flower essences,

There was some tobacco.  She smoked out of a pipe.

I took up smoking out of a pipe, and blended my own.

Fun, I enjoyed the process


A couple of weeks ago, I came home from being with Melanie.

Something got triggered within my soul.

Walking into the room where Gary was, he said,

you ok, you look white.”


“I’m going to lie down, I feel like ____.”

In the process of ‘being’ still, I heard.

you are to stop.”


I knew at that moment, that my body was shouting at me.

The first couple of days were a piece of cake.

By the 6th day, I was ‘joansin’.

Gary was talking to me, all I could think about was

Loading up my pipe.


I said, to Gary ,  I’m hearing what you’re saying, yet, at this moment

I’m listening to you through a filter called, I WANT A CIGERATTE.


I talked more about what I was feeling, how my body was reacting.

Then the statement,



So, I now ask myself when something shows up where my ‘mind’

wants to be in charge,



The boss isn’t my mind.

I’m not giving my power away to my mind,

It’s my servant, not my boss.


So, how long do you allow negative or fearful chatter dictate your life?


Here’s a what if.

What if, everything is an experience.

(we know this to be true)


what I’m looking at here;

my mind wants to ‘label’ everything,

some with good intentions, some with negative or bad feelings.


The judgment from the incident that just occurred creates the feeling

that I’m left with.


Then, on top of it all, we make up reasons  why we’re being/acting a particular way.


If he only.  Bla, bla bla.


Why can’t he just listen, why does he think he has to fix everything.

Rather then listening to what’s being said in a way that comes straight from the heart.

When I listen to what’s being said, knowing that the speaker is speaking what he feels, or what he knows, then there’s no judgment.

The judgment comes when I want him to speak the way I do.

Well, that’s the most insane thing ever.


What if;

We were all the same.

Wow,  what a boring life this would be.

It’s the diversity that makes life exciting.


Most of us look for the next adventure, what will bring juice to our lives.

That’s why new relationship are so exciting.

All the newness.


The trick is,  how to keep it new,  how to keep it fresh.







I think patterns is the root of boredom. 

Ok,  you’ve been with the same person for, oh lets pick a number.

5 yrs.


you work outside the home.

When you’re home, you might fix a meal together.

Nice, have a glass of wine, talk about your day.

Dinner is complete, dishes are put away.


Now what?



You sit on the couch, flip through the channels.

Find something neither one of you really care to watch, yet,

what else is there to do?


You make love so infrequently that you don’t even think about it.

When you feel guilty about not sharing those intimate moments,

You go about the movements, yet there’s no passion.

Then you wonder what the ___ you’re doing in this relationship.


Is it any wonder why people don’t stay together.

Wonder why when your away from home everything seems to be fantastic.

Your two week vacation, or a long week end.


Then you come home to, who’s taking the trash out.

And if your lucky enough to have children,

they, at least take up energy and time so that the two of you don’t have to really look at one another.


So, I’m looking at what

Ethic’s and Emotions have in common. 

Feed back please.





12/ Flint


time like a snow flake disappears while you decide what to do with it.




Gary and I put together four puzzles in a week,  they were small one’s

500 pieces.


When we started the first one, I said, “how I view a  puzzle is by finding the patterns.”

Knowing ‘our’ life pattern creates a smoother path in which to travel.

You’ve been traveling (more or less) the same pattern now for, _____ yrs.

You fill in the blank.

There are times when you’ve left point ‘A’ to reach point ‘B’, by the time

You’ve gotten to point ‘B’, you had forgotten the entire journey.

The pattern had gotten so comfortable you were on auto pilot




Where did you go? 


What I’ve been witnessing about how my emotional ‘pattern’ ,  it continues to create itself by having this expansion of consciousness,

The more I write, the clearer I find myself to be.

Sometimes I go back to read what I’ve written and wonder who was in this body.

“who wrote that?” 

I hit the delete button.


I also know that my train of thought isn’t linier.  It’s all over the place.

I have a personal saying,  “as long as I can write it down, I don’t have to keep it in my mind.”



playing with buttons on my computer

I found this sun set.

This is where it ended up, right in the middle of

what I was writing.


Talk about an air head,  empty.

Feels really grand.


I’m at peace.




Living my life with that knowing deep in my soul.


“This life is my gift to me.”  mw




Feeling safe

“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are -- chaff and grain together -- certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.…”

-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning


How blessed I am,  what a magnificent life I have.  How do I know this?  This is my declaration,  my desire to continue my journey. 


I’ve been asked by a few people about how safe I feel, being my companion is a 140 lb.

four legged.  I tell them I hadn’t thought about being safe or unsafe.  These thoughts

hadn’t entered my consciousness.    What would be the purpose of bringing fear  

into  my thoughts.   There wouldn’t be, so I don’t. 


love is the foundation that I live by, live with. 


On my walk today,  I watched the ‘ranchers’  haul away a cow that had died.  Standing there, I was in awe of how matter of fact it felt to me as they went about tying it’s legs together,  then hosting it into the back of a truck.   There was a heaviness I felt in my chest.  What was that all about?  I didn’t know this cow,  why was I feeling so sad.


I didn’t wait around to find out if she had been old, or sick.  I had to leave, I had to feel all the emotions that were running through my body.


Hugging Spirit,  telling him how much I love him,  how much he mean to me, what a great companion he is.  We walked home in silence. 


Today  is  4/Night,    today is about crating sanctuary and security.  New ideas that have been spread need to be planted in  the Earth Temple   so they can germinate properly. 


What’s germinating?   Feeling,  emotions.  All over the place,  I know I’m not the only one who’s emotions are scattered like pollen flying around with the wind.


One moment all is magnificent, the next, I’m ready to strangle anyone that speaks to me.  It’s wild,  allowing it all, stepping outside of myself.  Being the observer of it all.  Not taking any of the emotions personally, mine or anyone else’s. 


David Douglas  put together the most wonderful book,  not only is it informative, it’s a beautiful  coffee table book you would want to share with everyone,




Check with Mike at Mayan Majix  if your interested in taking a look at this magnificent book.


I want to continue to share my experience with the Galactic Transformer

What I continue to notice is,  it keeps me out of my mind.  Meaning,  I don’t

Buy into all the chatter that goes on,  as we’re so apt to believe what the mind says.


Who’s the boss here anyway?  The power belongs to you, keep it.  Own it, treasure it.


Blessings dear family  much love




So many of us heard  “stop crying, stop right now, you want to cry, I’ll give you a reason to cry.”


Why is that?  Are we so deprived of our emotions that holding them in supports what we’re all about?   I know this isn’t true. 

I’m one for expressing my emotions.

Always have.

My mother was an emotional women,

She showed me it was ok to cry.

For others whom are having a hard time around me while I express them, well,

that’s what’s there for them, I’m not ever going to suppress my emotions.


I’ve taken on issues about my finances, taken them to the extreme.

Companies charging me for products I had canceled.  Then I’m charged for over draft.

Wow,  thinking I had funds, according to my calculations, then when

these other charges appear, I get charged for over drafts.


There’s some really wild stuff going on, wild in that while viewing

this ‘theater’, standing at the service counter at the bank, feeling

hot tears rolling down my cheeks.  Knowing that others

are watching me, (I don’t care) they have their own

emotions around what they’re viewing, yet, no one knows what to do,

what to say, how to be. 


When I got back in the car, I looked in the mirror, my face was swollen and red.

Humm,  I was headed toward the market.  Do I wear dark glasses?

NO.  I put on my happy face.  I was happy, I had funds to buy food.



We were told by our distributor of the Galactic Transformer  that there’s a price reduction. 

They went from 129.  to   99. 

That is for the level  (1)


Mike (our Mayan Majix magical web master) has been wearing his since Saturday

24th Jan.

he’ll tell his story later.  

What I will tell you he said..

“I’m not taking it off.”



These past few years has brought me to my knees more times then I could count.

This is the most humbling, Gaia, angelic, experience ever.

I wouldn’t trade my experience with any one, for what ever they could say.

This is the one I chose,

Sure, there were times when I would have said,

“Me choose this.”

My sarcasm would be dripping out of my mouth.


Seeing, feeling, this . . .   Oh my  OH MY. This is the bomb.

This has been and continues to be for all the marbles.


The best part,  I share my marbles with everyone.

That’s truly the best part.


Wow.  To have met so many others from around the world.

Jean send me a picture of her and her family.

I would love for you to send me pictures so I could

put a face to your name.

since I look so different then I did in the pic with Ian,

I’m going to put a new one up of me..


“Even though we haven’t met face to face.  We know one another.

We’ve shared emotions,  that’s where the love resides,

It’s in the LOVE.  .  .


What else is there> “ mw


'I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.
If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent
their fathers conquered.'

Thomas Jefferson 1802

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