13/ Road
“Even the still wind has a voice.”
Navajo
saying.
Fear is a dense state of being.
I find myself listening to ‘chatter’ in
my head, when I
become conscious of the chatter, that’s when I go back to my heart speak.
‘Heart Speak’
Interesting, when my heart speaks, I know I’m
centered.
Here’s a personal story,
I started smoking when I was 13, back then smoking was advertised by doctors, and
athletes.
On the big screen, it was so romantic.
The man would light both cigarettes,
handing one to the lady.
They would look into one another’s eyes,
Feeling the
love that they shared at that moment.
My parents didn’t smoke, they never did.
I, being the
youngest of three, watching my brother who was eight yrs. older, and my sister,
four years older.
They took up the habit with cigarettes.
I’ve stopped and started smoking so many
times, I’ve lost count.
When I got
introduced to my now sisters.
They smoked.
Leah created her own blend, mostly flower essences,
There was some tobacco. She smoked out of a pipe.
I took up smoking out of a pipe, and
blended my own.
Fun, I enjoyed the process
A couple of weeks ago, I came home from
being with Melanie.
Something got triggered within my soul.
Walking into the room where
Gary
was, he
said,
“you ok, you look
white.”
“I’m going to lie down, I feel like
____.”
In the process of ‘being’ still, I
heard.
“you are to
stop.”
I knew at that moment, that my body was
shouting at me.
The first couple of days were a piece of
cake.
By the 6th day, I was ‘joansin’.
Gary was talking to me, all I could
think about was
Loading up
my pipe.
I said, to
Gary
, “I’m hearing what you’re saying, yet, at
this moment
I’m listening to you through a filter
called, I WANT A CIGERATTE.
I talked more about what I was feeling,
how my body was reacting.
Then the statement,
WHO’S THE BOSS HERE?
So, I now ask myself when something
shows up where my ‘mind’
wants to be in
charge,
WHO’S THE BOSS HERE.
The boss isn’t my mind.
I’m not giving my power away to my mind,
It’s my servant, not my boss.
So, how long do you allow negative or
fearful chatter dictate your life?
Here’s a what if.
What if, everything is an experience.
(we know this
to be true)
what I’m looking
at here;
my mind wants
to ‘label’ everything,
some with good
intentions, some with negative or bad feelings.
The judgment from the incident that just
occurred creates the feeling
that I’m left
with.
Then, on top of it all, we make up reasons why we’re being/acting a particular
way.
If he only. Bla, bla bla.
Why can’t he just listen, why does he
think he has to fix everything.
Rather then listening to what’s being
said in a way that comes straight from the heart.
When I listen to what’s being said,
knowing that the speaker is speaking what he feels, or what he knows, then
there’s no judgment.
The judgment comes when I want him to
speak the way I do.
Well, that’s the most insane thing ever.
What if;
We were all the same.
Wow, what a boring life this would be.
It’s the diversity that makes life
exciting.
Most of us look for the next adventure,
what will bring juice to our lives.
That’s why new relationship are so exciting.
All the
newness.
The trick is, how to keep it new, how to keep it fresh.
Humm.
Patterns;
I think patterns is the root of boredom.
Ok, you’ve been with the same person for,
oh lets pick a number.
5 yrs.
you work
outside the home.
When you’re home, you might fix a meal
together.
Nice, have a glass of wine, talk about
your day.
Dinner is complete, dishes are put away.
Now what?
TV.
You sit on the couch, flip through the
channels.
Find something neither one of you really
care to watch, yet,
what else is
there to do?
You make love so infrequently that you
don’t even think about it.
When you feel guilty about not sharing
those intimate moments,
You go about the movements, yet there’s
no passion.
Then you wonder what the ___ you’re
doing in this relationship.
Is it any wonder why people don’t stay together.
Wonder why when your away from home everything seems to be fantastic.
Your two week vacation, or a long week end.
Then you come home to, who’s taking the
trash out.
And if your lucky enough to have children,
they, at least
take up energy and time so that the two of you don’t have to really look at one
another.
So, I’m looking at what
Ethic’s and Emotions have in common.
Feed back please.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco&feature=email
12/
Flint
time like a snow
flake disappears while you decide what to do with it.
Patterns:
Gary and I put
together four puzzles in a week, they
were small one’s
500 pieces.
When we started the
first one, I said, “how I view a puzzle
is by finding the patterns.”
Knowing ‘our’ life
pattern creates a smoother path in which to travel.
You’ve been traveling
(more or less) the same pattern now for, _____ yrs.
You fill in the
blank.
There are times when
you’ve left point ‘A’ to reach point ‘B’, by the time
You’ve gotten to
point ‘B’, you had forgotten the entire journey.
The pattern had
gotten so comfortable you were on auto pilot
OOOOP’s
Where did you
go?
What I’ve been
witnessing about how my emotional ‘pattern’ , it continues to create itself by having this expansion of consciousness,
The more I write, the
clearer I find myself to be.
Sometimes I go back
to read what I’ve written and wonder who was in this body.
“who wrote
that?”
I hit the delete
button.
I also know that my
train of thought isn’t linier. It’s all
over the place.
I have a personal
saying, “as long as I can write it down,
I don’t have to keep it in my mind.”
playing with buttons on
my computer
I found this sun set.
This is where it
ended up, right in the middle of
what I was writing.
Talk about an air
head, empty.
Feels really grand.
I’m at peace.
ETHICS.
Living my life with
that knowing deep in my soul.
“This life is my gift to me.” mw
Feeling safe
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe
with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring
them all right out, just as they are -- chaff and grain together -- certain
that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and
with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.…”
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How blessed I am, what a magnificent
life I have. How do I know this? This is my declaration, my desire to continue my journey.
I’ve been asked
by a few people about how safe I feel, being my
companion is a 140 lb.
four legged. I tell them I hadn’t thought about being safe or unsafe. These thoughts
hadn’t entered my consciousness. What would be the purpose of bringing fear
into my thoughts. There
wouldn’t be, so I don’t.
love is the foundation that I live by, live
with.
On my walk today, I watched the
‘ranchers’ haul away a cow that had
died. Standing there, I was in awe of
how matter of fact it felt to me as they went about tying it’s legs together, then hosting it
into the back of a truck. There was a
heaviness I felt in my chest. What was
that all about? I didn’t know this cow, why was I feeling
so sad.
I didn’t wait
around to find out if she had been old, or sick. I had to leave, I
had to feel all the emotions that were running through my body.
Hugging Spirit, telling him how
much I love him, how much he mean to me,
what a great companion he is. We walked
home in silence.
Today is 4/Night, today is about crating sanctuary and
security. New ideas that have been
spread need to be planted in the ‘
Earth
Temple
’ so they can germinate properly.
What’s
germinating? Feeling, emotions. All over the place, I know I’m not the only one who’s
emotions are scattered like pollen flying around with the wind.
One moment all
is magnificent, the next, I’m ready to strangle anyone that speaks to me. It’s wild, allowing it all, stepping outside of
myself. Being the
observer of it all. Not taking
any of the emotions personally, mine or anyone else’s.
David Douglas put together the most wonderful book, not only is it informative, it’s a beautiful coffee table book you would want to share
with everyone,
THE MAYAN PROPHECY 2012 THE MAYAN
CALENDAR AND THE END OF TIME
Check with Mike at Mayan Majix if your
interested in taking a look at this magnificent book.
I want to
continue to share my experience with the Galactic Transformer
What I continue
to notice is, it keeps me out of my mind. Meaning, I don’t
Buy into all the
chatter that goes on, as we’re so apt to believe what the mind says.
Who’s the boss
here anyway? The power belongs to you,
keep it. Own it, treasure it.
Blessings dear
family… much love
