Matty's Journal
February 2007

9 /  Sun         Ahau


wild emotions  are being thrown in every which direction.

Asking questions,  how do I deal with all this?”


so many   Questions, so many,                           ANSWERS,  few. 


Although I’m only equipped to play  little league,

I feel as though I’ve been put into the ‘big league.’


Aunt Ruthie left  her body a little over a week ago, she was buried last Sunday.  Her son’s ,  my cousins seem to be holding up well, this is good.  When my mommy left, {almost 10 years ago}  it took  three years for me to find my footing.


My sister was in the hospital for the 4th time in the past couple of months.  She’s having her surgery on Monday,  10/ Crocodile

Praying for her, all the while fear creeps in.  normally fear isn’t something, or an emotion that resonates with me, yet, under these circumstances, this is what I’m experiencing.


Dorothy {my sister}  is four years my senior, we’re it, the elders are now US.

It’s the strangest feeling.  When momma died, I felt lost, the buffer was gone, talking with ‘D’, asking her how she was feeling, telling her how I felt without momma, and her being the buffer,  ‘D’ felt the same. 


With out having a personal experience, these words are pretty meaningless.


Even with all the exterior stuff going on,  I’m grateful that I wake up each morning, I’ve got my health.  Without one’s health, well, what is there?

One could have all the wealth in the world, so?  You can afford the finest medical, yet, where is the joy of life?


Three days before my daddy left his body, we were talking about living life,

He said, {in his Polish accent}  When I was a young man, I could eat anything I wanted, but I was poor, now, I’m a wealthy man, I can’t eat what I want because I’m sick, what is life all about?”


So, I ask you,  what is life all about?”  WHAT IS YOUR LIFE ALL ABOUT?


Do you find yourself complaining more than you give thanks.


Are you holding onto upsets from your past?


Who’s carrying all that baggage?


When you release it, you’ll feel 100 lbs lighter. Give it a go, when you let go of all that ‘stuff’, knowing that God give you much more than you can handle, being you’re not supposed to handle any of it, give it over, relax, enjoy, fill your life with as much joy as possible.

Put all the rest in a nice package, dig a hole, give it a proper burial, send it off to God, truly, this is the grandest gift you give to yourself, then it pours over onto all those around you.



L O V E     I S      T H E     A N S W E R,

No matter the question.


                       Fear            . . . .  . . . . . . .  what goes on in your mind? ? ?


It is in your mind you know.  Fear is the ‘dialog’ that continues to inundate your thinking, taking over where ‘Love’ really wants to reside, yet, for what ever reason you allow that ‘mind’ of yours to dictate  ‘reasons’ why you want to remain in that space of              F E A R            you’re the only one there

that’s bringing that energy into it’s center point.



Driving home alone, it’s dark, no moon,  I have to pee, really bad,  finding a gas station, the bathroom is open, yet the station is closed.  I’m on Pacific Coast Hwy. in California .  Walking into the stall, my mind starts telling me, “someone’s coming in, I can’t move, my heart is pumping, I’m feel this dark energy coming towards me, there’s no place to go, no place to hide.”  STOP.  Finding myself yelling out loud,  there’s no one here, just me, why in the world would I allow that to over take knowing that I’m being protected, watched over.”  By the time I got back in my car, shaking my head, looking at what I created.


Ian would say,  your mind is not your friend.”   Using one’s intuition, creating harmony, bliss, contentment, joy, . . .   until it’s recognized that what one is listening to, you won’t change it.  When you hear the negative energy, the negative voices that yell in your ear, you can’t change it.


“Oh my god, the car payment is due, I don’t have the money, I can’t pay my rent, where is the gas money coming from?” 


looking at the words that are being said, listening to the words that others say, what are they bringing into their lives?  Exactly what they asked for. 





I remember sitting in the reading circle when I was around 6 years old,

Saying over and over in my head, “don’t pick me, don’t pick me,”

GUESS WHAT!   The teacher picked me to read. 




When there’s a dramatic incident that occurs, it’s a wake up call.


W A K E   U P       A R E   Y O U   L I S T E N I N G  ?


Ian  is / was the most brilliant man I’ve ever known, his talents went way beyond his ability to capture your attention while presenting his point of view about the Maya, their cosmology, the history that brought about clarity for people all over the world.  He sculpted miniatures with such detail, the passion he put into his pieces are felt to the touch.


Poetry was added to pieces he sculpted. While he recited what he had written, I would have to remind myself to breath. He was a true wizard. 


There’s so much of his work I will be sharing with you, soon as I create the funds to get back to BC, {where Ian and I were living} all his mold are there, there waiting for me, Fred will be using the molds so that his work will continue to a part of ‘our’ lives.  Right now the only piece available is the Galactic Butterfly. For those who are wearing one, I’m grateful, Ian’s thrilled, the power, energy that it brings is amazing.  The Maya believe that ‘when The Butterfly returns, there will be peace on earth.’



You are the light that shines through out the world, bringing your energy where ever you go. Knowing that you’ve chosen this time to be a guide for all whom are awake to experience this evolution into our New World .


We Are The Ones We’ve Been Waiting For.


  Monkey Smile

Please check out Fred's latest creation.
He was a good friend of Ian's and is a fine artist / jeweler.


Click here for more Details




Matty at the Page Springs Peacock Ranch

baby Peahen


New Arrival - Baby Peahen

Matty Peacocks