27th
Oct. ‘05
Departed
Salmon Arm 12:45
pm
Art
hooked the Subaru onto the M/H aka Samantha… Ian sat in the passenger
seat, Spirit and I were on the couch… this felt right, knowing
we had a new plan…
Leaving
Sarah and Tyhson’s while they were away felt empty… ,my heart
yearned for them, seeing them, giving them hugs… the feeling left
a lot of empty spaces…
Their
support and love that they lavished upon us was their gift to
us, the angels sing, I hear them…
Our
goal was to get to Calgary by night fall…
About
30 min outside of Banff, Art said, “Oh Shit.” Looking
over at the rear view mirror, I see the blue and red lights, knowing
he was safe, yet, there’s a reason… the officer said, “when you
drove past me, your car was making such a racket, I had to see
what it was, not only is your tire flat, you don’t have a tire,
your ridden on your rim.”
Half
hour later, were crawling down the road, Art changed the tire,
yet it was so low on air, that if he drove with any speed, we
would loose another tire… so until we could find a place to fill
it with air, we were up shits creek…
It
was around 9pm… small town, no air tonight, we decided to park
the M/H and sleep… it was so cold, it felt as thought the sheets
were dipped in ice…
Art
turned the burners on the stove up, hopefully getting the place
warm… Ian is freezing… we were also… we parked, not really knowing
where we were, this was a trying day…
There
were so many beautiful people that emailed, telling Mike where
they were, and making sure if we were to pass by we could call…
Mike called to say that Ron, Jean, and Kathy live in Calgary, they left their phone number, Ian said, Please call them, Jean and
Kathy had gathered people last year when he was there, so it would
be wonderful to see them…
When
I called Ron was home, filled with delight, they were able to
meet us, and fill the M/H with gas… what a gift… more about meeting
them, getting hugs… sharing energy… Ian is too weak to get out
of the M/H, they came in to see him, as all things are, we are
in perfect harmony, balance, and love abound… thank you dear
ones… you filled me sooo… I know Ian was thrilled to see you,
to reconnect…
On
our way… 2:06 pm the M/H quit… nothing around, farm land, beautiful,
fenced areas, horses, Arthur says’ we’ll let it rest, see what
happens… it starts, we roll a few feet, then she dies… the cell
phone juice is draining, so I sit in the car charging it, calling
CAA… they don’t know how long it will be before they can get someone
out… so we sit…
Jo-e
called, asking what/where we are? I tell her, she can’t believe
this…
She
reminded me that everything is an opportunity…
When
I accept every thing as an opportunity, I feel stronger, clearer,
more centered…
We’re
60 miles from Calgary, heading east, we’re following
Tereasa’s directions…
Ian
is having a tough time, each day is harder for him…
There
are times when I feel him wanting to give up, that leaving his
body would be the simplest way to go… I’ve asked him to please
stay… I couldn’t see him leaving, there’s so much more for him
to do… so much more…
He
said he wouldn’t leave, that he really wants to stay in his body,
he wants to see the future he’s been talking about… there are
times when he feels like his body is giving up…
Sad,
oh so sad, thinking about me, asking, what’s my purpose?
Answer;
“to be of service.”
Its
Friday, will we get the M/H fixed today? 4:38 pm…
the tow truck hasn’t arrived . . . yet . . .
Will
we have to wait until Monday? Ok God, what ever you want?
It’s
possible that because what I’ve eaten today was, water, cup a’coffee
Hand
full of nuts, more water… feels like some sort of brain malfunction…
weird…
Thoughts
of food is secondary, wanting my Ian back, having the Ian I know,
the one filled with exuberance, filled with the passion for life,
to share with the world his knowledge… soon, real soon…
Following
the tow truck in the Subaru, Spirit and I sitting in the back,
getting Ian as comfortable as possible in the front seat, oh my
God, what do you want from us?
I
put my head back, closed my eyes, thinking about what Abraham
said years ago, “The Law of Allowing.”
Ok,
allowing the M/H to be towed, allowing the breakdown, allowing
Spirit to be having a hard time, allowing Ian to make his transition,
{if that’s what he chooses} allowing myself to panic, yet knowing
that all is in divine order…
Allowing
my mind to torture me for a few hours… would we make it, would
we get Ian where he would get the healing he needs so his body
will keep up with him… would we have to stay in the M/H through
the week-end? What?
Then
speaking with Angel Richard, hearing him tell me that all is well,
To
stay strong, that what ever is needed he will make sure that Ian
gets what will support his evolution…
72
miles… we got back on the road, right after their lunch… once
more, Samantha quit… we called Mike, {our tow truck guy} he didn’t
know how long it would take for him to get there,… ok God… OK…
I
called Angel Richard, telling him, he asked what I wanted to do,
I told him, a car and a driver would be the best, Ian isn’t strong
enough to get on a plane… by 3 o’clock, he had a friend that said,
“what are we waiting for,” they got him on the 5 o’clock flight
to Calgary, the M/H was towed back to where they had ‘fixed’ it
that same day, Art said, that Spirit could stay with him, he would
stay in the M/H until Monday, than take it back to Sarah’s… he
would keep Spirit with him for as long as need be… we gave him
the Subaru, telling him that was our gift to him… I left the van
with Sarah and Tyhson, and as soon as we get funded, I will pay
the van off, sign the ownership over to them…
Mike,
{our tow man} was such a love… he stayed with us, making sure
all that we needed was taken care of…
We
drove over to a motel, Spirit wouldn’t come in the room, for what
ever reason, the hall way in the hotel frightened him… so he slept
in the car… it felt good to take a shower… and have a meal…
Brad
landed in Calgary around 10; o’clock… he came over to the hotel
around 11, I suggested we all get a good night sleep, and start
off fresh first thing in the morning…
Sunday…
we organized the car, gave Art and Spirit hugs,… I told Spirit
what was going on, that he would be staying with Art for a while,
he would be seeing Sarah, and Tyhson… then he would be going to
Art’s house, and meet other people that would love him, and at
some time in the not to distant future, we will see one another…
I hugged, him, kissed him, this is the hardest part for me… to
leave my baby boy… Art asked him to walk with him, he started
walking, then turned around to see if I were there, I mouthed,
I love you Spirit, go, go with Arthur… Brad, drove away… I miss
him more than I thought I would… there are moments that I know
I could smell him, I feel myself rub my face into his fur… I also
know he’s in the best hands…
Mike Shore called, I love that he calls when the call will come through, there
are so many area’s that there’s just no service… amazing…
He
told me that Google cut mayanmajix from their search engine… Mike
was very upset… he suspects that Mayan Majix has been "Black
Listed" b/c some of the articles are not acceptable… well
of course, in the deeper truth files, there’s articles that they
don’t want people to read… ‘that some of the information posted
was not in alignment with googles policy… these papers are all
there for anyone to read. By the way, where’s are freedom of
speech???
Mike
was very upset… this is what I told him… “This is just a hiccup,
if you allow this to become bigger than a hiccup, it will turn
into a huge bubble, when the magic appears, it will have to roll
over the bubble and miss finding you, consequently, you will miss
out on the magic, know that there’s a enormous opportunity here,
right now we can’t see it, yet in releasing the upset, the gift
will appear… remember to give what ever you cant handle over
to God. And you’re going away for a few days, when you return
you’ll have less to contend with…”
“You’re
right, I feel better already.” We talked about letting all our
beloved mayanmajix family know what google did… ‘where’s our freedom
of speech?’
If anyone has suggestions or ideas of how to get Google to relist
Mayan Majix contact Mike admin@mayanmajix.com
2nd
Nov ‘05
7:55
pm ~ Day 2, arrived at the Clinic in
the nick of time, Ian’s teeth started
changing from healthy to death… he couldn’t move, hardly could swallow… he was dehydrated, one of the first procedures given was an injection of electrolytes… then a plasma drip… they watched him the entire night, staying in intensive care…
I’m
able to stay in the same room with Ian, there’s 9 rms in the entire
clinic, wonderful,
more staff than rooms…
The
stories I’ve heard, the miracles
that have taken place here, they are above reproach…
Brad
flew to Calgary on Saturday night… Sunday, we
loaded the Explorer, leaving Art and Spirit to handle what ever
was to handle, and off we went…
The
drive was 2700 miles, we arrived in Tijuana on Tuesday…
The
country is spectacular, open farm land, rolling hills, cows, horses, bison, antelope and magpie’s … it was as if they were guiding us, so tripe…
they would fly in front of the car,
it felt as thought they were letting us know that all’s well,
not to worry…
3rd.
Nov. ‘05
Today
Ian is having his second treatment of ‘radiation’… this process
is shrinking the growth… the Dr. said, when this shrinks he will
be able to eat… he’s looking forward to being able to eat, chew,
and swallow… it’s been months since he’s been able to eat food…
5th
Nov. Saturday
He’s
been asleep most of the day, what else is there for him to do?
They
bathed him, and shaved him, he looks so peaceful, an oxygen mask
covers his nose and mouth…
I
feel helpless, he asks me to stay with him, he doesn’t want to
be alone, so I stay, I’m on my 2nd book, since I’ve
been here, it’s a good thing I like to read… there’s plenty of
books here, some movies… for the first 5 days we didn’t have a
TV… didn’t miss it… funny to watch American actors speaking Spanish
…
6th
Nov. Sunday
Ground Hog Day
I’ve
seen this movie at least 4 times… each time gives me a grander
appreciation for how my life is… Ian watched with innovative thinking,
at one point he said, “I’m a good person, aren’t I?” Oh Ian,
you’re a wonderful man, a kind man, thoughtful man… and a brilliant
man… and … I love you…
“Thank
you, thank you, and I love you, thank you for being here with
me.”
Tuesday
8th Nov.
One
week ago today was when we arrived at the clinic… astonishing…
Brad
and I knew there wasn’t a moment to spare, yet, we were calm,
there was a feeling that no matter what, everything that had to
‘be’ would be, we didn’t have to put any of the human conditions,
emotions onto what lie in front of us…
When
they brought Ian into the clinic, I heard God say, “you’ve done
good.”
This
family that resides at the clinic brings such positive energy
along with their own personal experience knowing that this is
the right place for the person that’s here… there’s encouragement,
praise, and so much love…
Ian
is visibly changing right before my eyes… and the doctors see
it as well…
So,
here we are, one week into a new life, an experience that couldn’t
have happened any other way…
There’s
a softness that Ian hadn’t expressed before, he’s allowing his
feminine energy to come forth,… ‘God works in mysterious ways.’
9th
Nov. ’05
Wednesday
Yes,
there were times when I forgot not only who I was, but that I
was, forgot to be… Samuel Beckett, Molloy
How
often do we forget who we are… how often is there someone else
around reminding us who we are? What is it going to take for
us to remember? That’s what we’re here to do now… remember who
we are….
Spiritual
beings having this human experience…
One
of the doctors walked in our room this morning, coming to check
up on Ian, the expression on his face was priceless, he said,
“I had to come see you, you look fantastic.” He asked me if I
saw what he did, you bet, his face is filling out, he’s getting
stronger daily…
Yesterday
I walked across the street with Susan, she’s here with her husband
who is the patient here… she said, “when we brought Ian in, she
had said to her husband, ‘he’s not going to make it.” She said,
everyone that saw him said the same thing, then they prayed… amazing…
truly amazing…
12th
Nov. ’05 Saturday
Last
night freaked me out, I hadn’t gotten to experience the emotions
that occurred… it was clear to me that Ian could have chosen
to check out, leave his earthly body, how ever one speaks about
one’s transition…
Having
him wake up this morning, speaking with the doctor, having him
describe exactly what is going on in his body, that this growth
has blocked his wind pipe, grabbed hold of part of he’s air way,
and being Ian can’t open his mouth, there’s no way for them to
go in there with a scope to ‘see’… they’re planning on putting
a tube in his belly to feed him… when this will happen, I wasn’t
told… I know in my heart of hearts that we are in the right place…
We’ve
had so many plans, so much we’ve talked about doing, creating,
building… there’s no way he’s going to leave now…
While
we were still in Salmon Arm, I had a conversation with God, the
conversation was about what Ian needed to hear, what was missing…
I believe I shared that day with you, anyway, what God told me
to tell Ian was, “Trust.” When I told him, he said, “Ok, I got
that.” Yet, there are times now where he forgets… when I remind
him, his response is, “Thank you.”
While
we were still in Sedona, there were times when a bird would fly
into the glass door, or window… most of them lives, I would pick
him/her up, drop a drop of ‘rescue remedy’ into it’s mouth, soon,
they were as right as rain, off they flew… I’ve been looking
at Ian as an injured bird, giving him drops of ‘rescue remedy.’
Aka, tea, soup, water… I started calling him,
‘Little
Bird.’
13th
Nov. Sunday
This
is the analogy that come to me this morning;
Ian
dove into a deep pool, not knowing how deep it was, he continued
to descend… This morning he felt the bottom of the pool, having
his feet touch, legs strong, he pushed off, seeing the sun shining
through the water, knowing that fresh air awaits…
My deepest, heart felt appreciation, love for everyone sharing this
journey with us, your’ prayers are felt, your love warms us…
In Lak’ech…………… Matty ~ Ian
