These the ramblings of Ian Xel Lungold and the history
of my adventure versus cancer as written day by day.
Today is March 27th, 05, Sunday, Easter Sunday
The Day of Resurrection
12 Jaguar on the True Count Mayan Calendar
“Understanding the Magic”
Being the Intent & Purpose of March 27th, 05
you who have come to the Mayanmajix.com web site have read all, or at least
some of Matty’s journal of her adventures. Mean while I, Ian Xel Lungold have
been absent from the site over some time now. It is time to get everyone caught
up on my activities and bring into focus what is now transpiring in my experience.
Matty and I parted ways in 100 Mile House Canada, it was for our own health
and our friendship. I was having a lot of pain swallowing and headaches but
there was no opportunity to gather the funds needed to do anything about it
with Madaline and Spirit needing lodging and food everywhere we went. I needed
to get out on my own to have a chance travel and to gather a crowd and to
earn a living. Matty was home sick for her kids as well and you have or can
read the rest in her journal. So I hit the road. I did talks from top to bottom
of British Columbia and over the Alberta as well. I set up as many talks as
I could find help gathering people and halls or living rooms to do the presentations
in. I once did 14 talks in a 16 day run. I was frantic. It was like I was
let out of a box or bottle and I just went for it. The one thing that never
happened was that I never made enough money to really handle things other
than travel and meals and what Matty needed sent down to the States to keep
things running down there. The last trip to Calgary included a side trip to
Edmonton (A 7 hour trip) and I had 4 people show up at that talk. I was burnt
to a crisp and I knew it. Finally, I had run it all out. I would go rest and
heal and give up the frantic money chase that was not working anyway.
received an invitation to visit a sanctuary and I took it seriously. While
there I fell in love with a part of myself that happens to be female and she
promptly put me to work speaking in various centers near the sanctuary. My
jaw was not hurting very much during this whole period. After a couple of
weeks of the blissful blur I got a message from Matty that it was time to
return to the States to finish some paperwork concerning her home in Sedona
and the resulting contracts on the various banks and personnel.
right back and dove into the legal soup. It was a shock to the system but
3 months later, the work was done and the contracts were signed, sealed, Apostilled
and sent to International Banks for negotiations. But now my throat hurt all
of the time to swallow and my jaw ached along with flashing headaches. Bad
teeth I thought. I was offered an opportunity to return to my love and have
some financial help getting the dental work done if I promised to help her
supervise her 14 year old son and a 12 year old friend on a Caribbean cruise
for 12 days. I am not crazy. I took the offer.
got back to Canada I went straight away to the dentist who looked into my
mouth and said; “You have to go to a doctor my friend. He went on; “I don’t
want to alarm you but you had better go right now, there is a clinic on the
next block.” I went to the doctor and she said; “You have HIV or Cancer.”
Oh, great choices; I thought. This was all of a sudden getting serious now
wasn’t it? They took a few tubes of blood to do various testes and I went
away in a state of shock I think. The next few days of worry and wonder I
wouldn’t wish on any one that I can think of. I was pretty miserable and having
a hard time forgiving myself for not actually fully investigating or handling
this situation earlier.
10th I had an operation to remove a tonsil that had gone weird
in my throat and take a biopsy of the lymph gland that had now swollen and
dropped from under my jaw line. I six hours I was knocked out operated on
and released from the hospital dopy from the anesthetic and with some drugs
to take home. The test results from the Biopsy would be available around March
On March 20th I was scheduled to be on a cruise to the Caribbean. Have things have gotten strange yet?
of whether to lay around waiting for the test results or go ahead and go on
the cruise was not much of a “brainer” now was it? I’m not stupid, I went
on the cruise and that is where I am writing this, on board the cruise ship
“Galaxy” on deck six as we steam toward Montego Bay, Jamaica and the Grand
Cayman’s. (Off shore Banking Center) (Piracy for sure.)
23rd we arrived at the Isle of Cosumel, Mexico and while there
I went to a land phone to get the test results. The Doctor gave me the news
that the tonsil had cancer and had transferred that to the lymph gland. Great
News for a vacation Huh? Actually I was glad to know what was actually going
on. The first 12 hours seemed to be just fine and then the next 30 hours or
so were tough. I mean tough but I did not chicken out and do anything rash
like jump overboard or anything like that. (It did come to mind for a few
moments) Anyway, there was a lot going on for me there and for my companion
as well. Here her new love has just been advised that he has a potentially
fatal disease. We have had many discussions about the nature of the relationship
we are manifesting in each others faces.
There. That in a nut shell is where I have been over the past while.
get with the why I perceive this is all happening in my experience.
1st and foremost, the evolution of consciousness that Dr. Carl J. Calleman discovered
within the Mayan calendar is headed straight for a state of Conscious Co-Creation
of our experience in the next 6 years. This means that we are already literally
creating our own experience but not as consciously moment by moment as it
is possible to do so. We are evolving in that direction but we are not expected
to be in the state now any more than you’d expect a 6 month old baby to set
up and then push his/her own stroller. So here we are on some sort of cusp
of time and change and those paying attention can really feel it.
2nd and very important, Time is not speeding up Creation is. Making more possible
all of the time. Both more “good” &”bad” things are much more possible
in every moment. The term “Instant Karma” comes to mind here for some reason.
3rd this is another set up. Ever since I can remember in this life time events have popped up that steered my future for a very particular reason. That “reason” usually was not clear at the time (a kind understatement) but eventually I found the benefit of those lessons or directions. In previous writings I have spoken about various instances of this. This type of unfoldment has gotten to be a regular pattern, something to be more or less expected in my life at least the way that I am living it. At some undetermined point, up comes a problem or solution and I am forced to follow my intuition to work my way out of one situation and into a new and better world on the other side. I know that having any kind of regular job or set obligations to others would preclude me from being able to flow into those solutions and I rejoice in my freedom to do so. Taking that freedom, my obligation then becomes sharing what ever insights are gathered with the rest of you.
rest of me as it turns out)
Today I was Resurrected on a black sand beach on the Costa Rica Coast.
healed as yet but reborn in a way and healing)
I was standing with the waves splashing up to my thighs in bright sun light looking out at the sparkling blue water and with white clouds racing each other to the distant horizon, and I realized there was only one reason that I was having this experience.
I created this experience. The fact that I was standing there with cancer
could only be because I had created this situation as well. Now why would
I do that? The only rational answer (and then just barely rational) is because
I believed for some reason that I had to do this to prove some point or another.
Like I said just barely rational. But prove something to whom? Who else is
there in my creation of experience? Who else is actually there in your dreams
at night? No-body baby, except you. It came to me that the reason we do not
own our creative ability fully is that we do not trust our selves with that
ability. Lack of trust is a learned behavior.
we have each of us, or collectively, have done some creating that we were
not exactly proud of and thus have locked up that kind of creative ability
for safe keeping out of our own hands.
create all the effects associated with the idea of Karma. “Karma” is now much
more instant as are all manifestations so the demonstrations that we each
creating our reality is coming directly to consciousness. Personally I believe
this is why I suffered the pain for so long without getting it fixed. I wanted
to be in that suffering to balance some Karmic set of conditions. Logically
I do not agree with this procedure but then, I have created a physically
painful problem in my experience, logic or no logic about it. How rational
are the cells of your body? Their consciousness is on the level of action/
reaction and stimulus/response. I guess we should not expect much logic from
those foundations now should we?
4th This whole literal life and death situation that I have manifested at this
particular time is completely suspect because of the timing. All my life I
have struggled for money. I grew up a Southern Baptist with money being a
sin and the root of all evil and this has been a huge burden. A burden created
by whom? Yours truly, of course that’s who. This life time I have chosen a
challenging warrior type path. I have lunged into darkness, wrestled with
self doubt and flung myself off cliffs just to see if I could fly. I can say
that I did not crash into anything really hard during this whole life time.
Not even a broken bone but I have had a couple of broken hearts along the
way. Not too bad over all when I look at all the chances I took. So why am
I having cancer now? Cause it ain’t all that hard to cure it now. It is all
part of this same pattern of my reality set up with challenges that ultimately
catapult me through wrenching emotions of fear or dread to some other level
of understanding. In this case the Understanding of the Magic or as I have
been stating most recently in my writings and talks, Understanding of Majix.
particular time, with the accumulated experience to directly apply to new
understandings, (my sign 12 Sun) with the company I am now keeping and with
the back up of loving, knowing persons around the globe this cancer situation
is more of an opportunity than it is a problem.
I have now done what I wanted to do in the outer world. I have gotten this
message of the Evolution of Consciousness planted in the consciousness of
the planet. It would go on growing with out me if needed. This satisfies the
challenges that I set up about being a worthwhile human being this life time.
I know that I have made a good contribution.
I have found a sanctuary in which enter the inner world to heal the physical.
I manifested the assistance to start the process of discovery and resolution.
In my travels I have met many competent healers, technicians and inventors
who can offer direct assistance and excellent advice for my care. I invite
all of you to join in this endeavor if you want to. Come on in the love
and light are fine.
I am on a beautiful cruise in the Caribbean which I have wanted to do all
of my life and which has led directly to a deepened understanding that I am
creating this whole reality as well as creating you sitting there reading
this message. Mean while you are sitting there creating my situation within
your universe or reality. This is spiritual “go getting it” top to bottom
and this is the evolution of consciousness (at least mine) towards Conscious
I am just about to have the energy (funding) manifest from those Banking contracts
enabling much advancement of consciousness and health science across the planet.
Doesn’t all of this seem just a little too coincidental to you to be any accident?
Sure seems that way to me. And we get to do this clearing or healing together if you wish. I will chronicle the whole thing as it goes, which ever way it goes and share with all of you okay?
later, today is April 2, 2005. We are on our way back north after the cruise.
Kristina has left with the boys to Seattle, and I am all alone in the Phoenix
airport teeming with people. I was waiting in line for an hour and a half
to get my ticket changed with no extra costs on a medical emergency. I had
$11 in my pocket so it was either they allowed this waiver of the $100.00
change fee or I stay in Phoenix. It was up to me to see that this went well
and that the supervisor agreed to do the waiver.He agreed after a short conversation
and showing him my doctors note that I had gotten by getting up in the morning
and went to the ship’s doctor before disembarking. So I am now sitting in
the Phoenix airport waiting for my flight to L.A. at 7:30 pm where I will
enter Cancer treatment for a while.
I am going
to find out just how much I love myself in the few weeks. The degree that
I feel I deserve to live is the degree that I will be receiving the help needed
to kick this and get back to productive living once again.
test is very important to determine that we are actually creating our own
reality and I welcome this challenge with a smile and raised head. I just
talked to Gary and he has got me up to speed on what is happening with the
contracts. Gary told me he’d found out that it will take about another 24
to 30 days for the International banks to clear paperwork hurtles now put
in place by Homeland Security and the extra regulations for contracts this
big. Then we should be monetized around May 1st, 2005.
Matty has picked me up and brought me to Ray’s place. We have had discussions
about my condition and the causes. Basically I had been embraced too much
negative influences and had slipped into spreading some of those negative
feelings with my message. I have called my self to a higher standard of ethics
then I have had in the past and must walk a straighter line of integrity and
intuition than I have been. This is my wake up call to be more honest and
forthright with myself and others.
April 3rd, Morning.
up seeing that I have been attempting to protect myself and to be one better
than others by not expressing my displeasure of their actions. I would stuff
the feelings and not criticize them so that I could be better than those who
attacked or blamed others. I was saving up the things that I would like to
see changed in them so that I would have an excuse not to change myself. This
was selective. It was mostly done with events concerning my daily life and
those who I cohabitated with. I would freely complain about those at some
distance because they would not hear my complaints and be able to talk back
or personally threaten me. I only held back from those closest to me (Like
Madaline Weber for instance) my hurt feelings and my desires that they change.
In this I have been personally weak and not as good a friend as I could have
been to those that I have been close to. I do apologize to all of you. (And
you Madaline) Please forgive me people for my weakness or lack of courage
and I hereby do forgive myself for my failings.
The reason that I can forgive myself is that I can now see my error and that is the most important thing from here forward, to pay attention in my communications so that I am conscious of my being absolutely truthful with myself and others.
I am attempting
to contact the grief charge that I feel and bring it to the surface to be
released. I believe this grief is being caused by the knowledge that many
of humanity and the earth are suffering greatly as we speak and that the suffering
will spread quite widely in the near future. I have seen the truth but I have
not wept as yet. I have stuffed the emotion behind some manly attitude and
I need to break that down and just have a good emotional break down.
I started my treatment today on April 3rd with 40 CCs of intravenous Ozone. Right now I am in some sort of detox funk. The medical term is Healing Crisis. It is the physical dip in the general well being of the body as it processes toxins from the cells and systems. It is not as bad for me as some flu or cold but I am tired and somewhat achy with the same pain in my neck and head as well. I did have two ozone treatments in Canada in late June of 2004. As could be easily under stood, I have been doing some crash course investigations on the cause and cure of cancer and this has born some great data.
be posting information at the mayanmajix.com web page about the actual discovered
and proven cause of diseases including cancer and HIV.
(1st Clue* It ain’t germs, viruses or bacteria.)
I still have not had my emotional breakdown. I am thinking of renting some tear jerker movies and just going for it.
Here is later April 4th 2005. 2:00pm I have just finished the second Ozone treatment this time with 120 CCs in 2 syringes. The pressure in my chest and lungs was not as bad this time as the first time and then he had only given me 40 CCs.
I have gotten tired I am going to take a nap. 6: pm I am awake and not in
too much pain. 9:00pm took one pain Pill.
5th, 2005 2:00pm got another ozone treatment this time with 180
CCs. Wow! I took a body trip on this one. With lots of pain in the chest like
an elephant coming and sitting on it and flopping feet. The Flopping feet
happen when your body is so uncomfortable from the excess oxygen that your
feet can’t stay still. This was a maxi treatment today. Later Michael Randolph
came over and by 4 :pm we were headed to Dean where he works in a naturopathic
health store selling Chinese herbs I was given a couple of drinks while I
was there that had heavy doses of Chinese mushrooms to hunt down and kill
cancer cells. While I was there Dean looked up my geographic astrology to
see where my power spots are on the planet according to the planetary positions
or tracks on the day of your birth. My Sun line which is all about healing
runs right straight through Los Angeles and up to Nelson, Canada. All of our
jaws dropped a little as it was my intuition that guided me here to heal as
part of this unfolding creation. Then Michael and I went to the Hollywood
Gold’s gym to get me a week pass to use the sauna and steam room. We walked
in and I had forgotten my ID.
I thought I was back in Jamaica man. The sales people huddled up and then
took me straight away to the sign up room. With no ID and no Credit card we
managed to get me a one month pass for free but if I am going to cancel the
contract I must do it by 14 days or April 19, 2005. So I have a free two week
pass for the whole gym. Mostly I am going to be doing the sweating but everything
else is there as well. Just note that I manifested an important element of
my healing, raising the cell temperatures above 105 degrees, For Free. Cancer
cells die at 105 degrees.
we went to the Down Town Gold’s gym (less than 4 miles from where I am staying)
and did a steam bath for an hour. I was having periods of big dizzy and started
having visions of our trip to the Caribbean. I was pushing it right to the
edge and was obtaining altered states of consciousness. Right on that ragged
edge seems to be the place for me. That is the place were surrender occurs
and shit moves. Boy did it move. While in the steam I did reflexology on the
lymph glands to help them drain. I made it home to eat some cold soup and
drink a green juice drink took one pain pill then went to bed. I am exhausted
this healing is hard work let me tell you. Tomorrow I go back to the gym to
do another steam (Urban sweat lodge) first thing without the traffic.
Gold’s Gym scale I was 157.6 pounds as I left.
I got up at 5:30 am and went to the gym to workout and sweat. 15 minuets on a leg and arms workout machine to break an honest sweat then I went for as long as I could with each round in the steam room. Three times I reached into altered states of consciousness from the heat. Scale said 157 lbs. before the steam room sweat; one hour later after sweat it said 153.6 lbs.
was earlier today. I got another 180 CCs and my body went into a flu type
feeling with shaking chills and sweats. I slept for about 3 hours and sweat
head to foot during that as well. This is some serious purging that is going
on as the cancer, viruses and bacteria are killed and ripped out of my system
by rapid oxidation cause by the ozone or singlet oxygen atoms in the blood
stream. By the way, Madaline is taking the Ozone (milder doses) for general
health as well.
at 5:30 am and went to the sweat lodge. Weight 156.6 before 153.2 after. I
am so grateful for what I have been able to manifest with pure energy (no
cash) in my quest to heal. Here’s a short list of what I am grateful for;
the initial surgery to remove my cancerous tonsil, a beautiful cruise in the
Caribbean on which to reflect on my whole situation, the Ozone treatments
would be $100.00 each but for a trade arrangement with the therapist, the
car that I get to use to go to the gym on a two week pass for free, the blender
and the juicer I did not have to purchase to use as my source of meals, the
artists loft that I can hang out in as I get better, Madaline’s understanding
and care, many friends with direct knowledge, tools and experience for the
curing of cancer in many people over the last 15 years and the opportunity
to share these experiences with all of you. Something very special is going
was 150 CCs today and we will take a day off on Friday. I went to sleep for
3 hours after this treatment but the physical reactions were not anywhere
near as severe. The swelling in the lymph has not been as big today.
8th The steam room was good for another 3.2 lbs of water sweated
out today, I left weighing 152.6. We took a day off from treatment today and
drove up to the pacific coast highway Oji, Cal where we tried to visit some
friends. They were not home so we came back. At least we got out and took
9th I went to the gym at 6:15 but it didn’t open until 7:00 so
I walked around and up and down stairs to raise a sweat until it was open.
I dropped another 3 lbs of water in the sauna because the steam room was not
working. I had to do 100 sit ups and 100 push ups in the sauna to squirt that
much out. I left there at 150lbs today. Got another 180 CCs of Ozone and crashed
heavily. From 2:30pm I did not get up from the couch until 8:00 pm when I
went to bed. Head aches, neck aches and over all bad feelings were the order
of this day. I took no pain medications just riding the pain like a dragon
into what ever consciousness is discovered there.
10th, I took a day off from going to the gym and rested here at
home in Ray’s Loft. I received two calls from people who offered to do at
a distance healing with me and had good sessions with each of them. One is
with a QXI machine. Towards 9:00pm I had to go to bed as the pain was getting
to me in my throat and head. Took a pain pill some time during the night then
went back to bed. Fuck that dragon.
11, our next treatment is tomorrow but I did go to the gym this morning and
sweat out 3 ½ lbs of water. I left the gym at 151.1 lbs. We went to Ojai to
meet with a friend and got some very cool medicine. Our friend is a grower
of medical Marijuana and he had a couple of bottles of tincture that he had
created to a pain remedy. We tried the stuff out and the pain did not go away
but turned into more of a diffuse cloud of pain rather than sharp pain. And
what do you know? He gave me the two bottles to take home. The stuff is so
cool, it looks like a Star Wars drink when you dropper it into water it sits
there on top as a separate green fog.
12th, So I do the gym thing again 154.8 going in 151.2 coming out.
We did another treatment but this time only 120 CCs. This was a totally different
experience of Ozone than I have been having. Where there has been a flood
of Ozone injected that overwhelms the immune system and rakes the body for
toxins to neutralize and throw into the blood stream, this was gentle. This
was a boost to the immune system and general well being. I have had a good
day at this today.
13th, I did not go to the gym today in order to give my liver a
break from handing so much toxic stuff. 140 CCs this time and 20 CCs of Ozone
injected directly into the mass that is in my neck to start breaking it down.
This was somewhat painful and I was glad to have the tincture. Also Tom, the
guy who recommended the Ozone treatments came by for awhile and dropped off
a pad that is suppose to help with pain. It did for a while then the pain
got worse and the poor pad just could not keep up. I took some tincture and
went to bed at about 7:00pm to get away from the pain. I think this is the
day that the Mega H came from PHI SCIENCES, Patrick Flannigan’s super hydro-oxidant
formula and I did start taking it.
April 14th 3.6 lbs water at the gym. We did another 140 CC and this time 50 CCs of Ozone directly into the mass. Oh Boy!
syringe started the mass stinging periodically. With pressure building inside
the mass from the gas, the needle was moved or something and pain would rip
through my throat. If my helper put finger pressure it would help out and
calm down then start again. After we started the second syringe the pain went
up a notch and at one point I was ready to stop. In fact I thought that he
would stop seeing the extreme discomfort that I was in. Matty says she could
see my toes curing up even under the blanket. This was tough. He did not stop
and pumped that mass full to where my throat looked like a toad that is going
to croak. The Ozone was heavy on my chest and the mass in my throat was becoming
a known size, shape and position as it was now out lined in ragged pain.
I don’t know exactly when my helper left. I do remember thanking him for not wimping out on me and doing what he knew he should. All I could do was lay there and not even think of moving. After he was gone the mass that was once a tumor just exploded into pain. Then it was my jaw bone that erupted one by one like volcanic nerves under each of my teeth. I was lost in the midst of amazement of all of the different kinds of pain, the shooting, stabbing pain replaced with throbbing pain, then electric pain and on to flashing, burning, swelling pain and then, I woke up some 4 hours later.
I passed out there or something.
up with a spot. A definite spot at the base of my tongue that glowed in intense
resistance and pain. This is the seed spot that all the trouble started with
all those months ago. I decided to ride that Dragon some more cause it was
so present. I tossed and sweat and rolled all night in the pain going in and
out of sleep as I could.
15th, I staggered out of the house with no neck and went to the
gym to sweat out 3.4 more lbs of water in the steam room and came home to
call my helper to cancel today’s Ozone. I felt like shit and the pain in that
one spot was intense. Today we received the Black Salve from Two Feathers
and I did make a capsule and took it orally. Stomach only turned over once
or twice and then no other disturbance. I was very tired and just could not
see doing anything at all. I just lay on the couch feeling the pain in that
spot to just experience what ever it is trying to put across. It would change
once in awhile and sometimes radiate along the all too familiar nerve paths
into the side and top headache and or the muscles on the side and underside
of my jaw. The spot is about the shape and size of a hearing aid battery
and it produces the sensation of being choked up in grief and then periodically
sends tendrils, shafts or waves of pain into the other areas of my head and
throat. Yes I am interested in getting to the bottom of what ever that spot
is. As yet I have no clue and frankly I am focused on my physical vitality
first before going too deep into possible what’s and why’s on this energy
spot. If any one else wants to take a wack at what this is? Go ahead and
take a peek. Please reference your email/perceptions with “energy spot” tiles.
16th, today I didn’t go to the gym. I worked on emails and paperwork.
At 12:00 noon My helper came over and once again we went straight into the
mass. This time the damn thing was mostly DEAD. Just a few little tingles
of pain around the edges and not too much else. It is time to move this mother
of a mass out of my neck and through my liver to where ever it wants to be
deposited. I am so done with this pain. Don’t you know that I have been asking
why? Why would I do it this way? This hard, painful and dangerous path of
disease is not all that thrilling or even special. Lots of people suffer.
Why not do this transformation of what ever needs be transformed in Bliss
instead? That would be different and special. So far that question has stumped
me. I am just going through this until it is done. That is all I know to
do for sure. That and just keep writing what is happening.
Oh yeah, sometime over the last 10 days I have done 6 coffee enemas and have drunk my own urine every one of those mornings. Also I have the use of a Telsa Wand (way cool) that I use on my liver and throat areas. And some powerful ceramic magnets that I hold up, north side to the body, on either side of the swelling during the day.
there was a new development. The energy spot that produces the pain went into
my jaw and showed me the dental pain trick all over again. It was feeling
just like it did for all those months that I thought it was caused by a tooth.
So I got to see why I did nothing else about it or did not do to a doctor.
My teeth and jaw hurt.
This morning, in the steam room it came to me more clearly why I am in this situation.
not come across as profound or with as much relevance to you as it did to
me at the time and it may seem somewhat over blown to some of you but that
does not matter. What matters is my own understanding and forgiveness and
these revelations assisted me in doing just that for myself.
been asking me why I would bring myself so low and into so much pain. This
has not been any kind of personal attack but a neutral questing for some kind
of purpose or pattern. I had some clues as to why that I have previously written
and I was in no particular hurry to rip the lid off the truth of this. I decided
I would let any answer bubble to the surface of my consciousness as I just
go through the experience.
to have complete legitimacy and compassion for what the vast majority of humanity
is going to go through over the next 6- 24 months I would have to walk and
then crawl to Death’s door myself. Once there, I was to look death in its
quite seductive eye and turn myself around and eventually walk away from the
precipice of death. That I have done and I have written how it was done as
great teacher that has been on this planet has faced great challenges. Most
of them have had close dealings with death. Some, actually many, ended up
dying for the principles that they stood for, Jesus? Martin Luther King, Kennedy
and many more. None of us, and that do include me, has to die this time around
in order to stand on the principle that we are each creating our own existence
now do we? Death as an expression is just not appropriate for the current
situation. Only thriving will do from here on out.
So what I did to run myself down to a raw nub while walking up to Death’s door was;
1) Taking on the message of the evolution of consciousness as more important than my life or my world status in the year 2000
2) Standing up to the world opinion that the Dreamspell calendar is the Mayan calendar, thereby incurring the wrath and ostracism of the majority of the New Age movement’s principal authors and speakers, organizers of public events and the Meta Physical magazine publishers.
3) Taking on the system that chains all of us to our lifestyles, commerce and associated laws. Matty and I took on banks, lawyers, judges, city and county officials as well as receiving admonishments from past friends who were afraid of what we were doing.
4) We won in court but lost the street battle and eventually Matty’s home.
5) We won in much bigger ways in personal education but I paid dearly in my general well being as I uncovered and faced the blood and bone truths of the ruthless nature of those running the world economy. The rage and frustration quietly building for over 2 ½ years.
6) We hit the road and eventually I went frantic trying to gain momentum for this message. Frustration after frustrating turn would crush me as our funds left faster than I could generate them.
and I separated and still I struggled on to support her basic needs and keep
me going for another 6 months.
that did it. I got about as sick as you can get with cancer and not die. And
I grew a painful, uncomfortable choking gagging tumor as evidence in my neck.
Did I make it to Death’s door? Ask the people who smelled my breath on April
I began to crawl away from there. This has been very painful and I do not
wish this on any of you. Please take heed of what I am saying and do not do
what I did. Crawling away from death means becoming more conscious. The first
thing you become conscious of is the amount of loss that has been suffered
and this is painful mentally, emotionally and physically. I have found the
process of going through the pain to be absolutely humbling. It is also a
great base for compassion and empathy. Notice I did not say sympathy. I am
grateful to say that I have not received one communication from any person
in sympathy about my condition. It could be that because my initial communication
stated that I knew I created this myself. In any case I have not been burdened
with anyone laying sympathy on me and I am thankful for that. This incident
is not a bad thing. It’s a wake up call for sure and painful to be sure but
these are not bad things. They just are. Waking up and pain are part of the
conditions of being a human on planet earth.
18th, I went to the gym and sweat 3.5 lbs of water. Because my
veins were too constricted today the ozone was put directly into the mass
in my neck again. This time there was very little pain during the injection.
Later the pain did kick in with the increased swelling that did happen again.
19th, I knew that I was done with the Ozone treatments. I called
my helper and let him know that my body had said it was done. I had received
12 treatments of Ozone and my body is now clear of all cancer, viruses and
or bacteria that are harmful. Matty and I have decided to go on to Sedona
on April 21. I wrote a letter to Gold’s Gym thanking them for the days in
the steam room and canceling my trial membership.
20th, we start packing and we went to China Town in L.A. about
5 miles from where we were staying and bought a bunch of Chinese herbs for
making a tonic tea.
21st, 5:30 am we are pulling out of the Santa Fe Art Colony and
headed to Sedona 1:30pm we are driving into Sedona.
22nd, we are in the place we have arranged to stay. It is Spartan
and still being cleaned but it is dry and a warm place to lay our heads. Today
I went to do the first Vibe Machine treatment with Matty and our friend Jonne.
We all enjoyed the experience.
23rd, Matty and I got up and went into Sedona to go do the next
treatment at 9:30 am this was all very good. Right after while we were doing
some shopping we got a call from the person who had arranged the space for
us to stay in Sedona. The call was to tell us that one of the partners in
the leasing agreement was no longer in agreement and that we would have to
vacate. In fact the whole business deal that was in place blew up real big
time so, we are back on the road again. I am writing 30 minutes after repacking
the van so we have no idea where we will be going or sleeping tonight as yet.
We are not concerned. My thought is we get a tent and camp our way back to
Canada. Matty is fine with that idea so at least we have a bottom line plan
if nothing else works out. We go over to Gary’s house to meet with some other
friends and to say goodbye. Gary happens to mention that the neighbor Jan,
across the street just might like to have us stay for a few days. Turns out
she has seen my talks and had seen Matty and I and she was more than pleased
to have us stay. She is recovering from a broken ankle and my rife machine
is helping her heal and to be more comfortable and the Ozone machine and information
has been a gift she says. She knows of 4 people besides me who have been diagnosed
with cancer in the last 2 weeks. Something is up here guys. Anyway we can
stay and I can get more Vibe treatments.
Got another treatment worked with Gary on paperwork.
Hello Mary, April 24, 05
Strange things can happen in a life. Like someone can push themselves too hard, too long and end up with cancer in their throat like I did. Well I am gettin better. The cancer is gone now in very little time. From April 3rd I have been doing Ozone treatments and other alternative methods that have totally kicked the bad guys. Now I am working on the lump left in my throat. This too shall pass. What will stay is the new perspective on being a being in a human body that I have gained through the experience. I would not try to do interviews or talks right now. The new insights I have had need to cure a little before I want to expose them too much.
But let’s keep in touch. I have met with death, we danced and then I walked away.
April 25 – April 27
much changed during these 3 days except that I got very angry that this condition
is still happening.
protocol. I started taking a shamanic blend of herbs that detoxes the body
at an etheric level as well as doing the Vibe Machine each day. Along with
this is an ancient formula of herbs that realigns your DNA to the original
human blue print. We will see what happens.
Hoo Boy! Did this new stuff kick it in gear or what? I am in pain my friends I am in pain. The swelling has increased and my jaw feels locked by the pain in it, my voice box is squeezed so my voice sounds like some cartoon character and the back of my head is pounding. I got up from bed and went to sit in the hot tub up to my chin in hot water to get the pains to lessen. Thank you God~Us that there is a hot tub where we are staying. Too convenient isn’t it? I went in for the Vibe Treatment today and that helped some on the pain and my overall attitude. By late afternoon things were changing once again and the swelling went down dramatically.
that reduction there was less pain. I think that I went through some level
of healing crisis concerning the new protocol that I’ve been doing 3 times
per day. I was told to hold on for a wild ride for the first 3-4 days as things
shift in your body. I guess so.
I am doing better today than in quite a few days. This morning I got up and took a hot tub before 8:00am. While in the tub I did a meditation on experiencing the moment as completely as possible. It came to me that the new protocol that I am doing is actually re writing the DNA code in my body. It feels like things are getting straightened out at the most basic physical level.
although I was experiencing some pain that pain was more like a flow than
a stop. It was during this meditation that my new message started to unfold.
Basically the message is that from here on forward we are creating our reality
much more directly. So start now, creating what you want and let go of what
ever you do not want. What ever you don’t want will leave faster than you
could believe once you have let go. The ability to do that “letting go” is
to first recognize that everything is going to turn out just great!
at your life and all the times that things looked like the end of the world
and that circumstance was going to crush you and what do you know? You are
still here. Some things changed at those times for sure but you are still
here. Cause you are creating your existence. Next, realize that you are perfect
just exactly as you are. Warts, habits, secrets, smells and bad credit and
pains you are just the way you are supposed to be. You are just as you created
yourself. You are a perfect expression of creation that may if it wants to,
can change or recreate that expression to fit current circumstances in a graceful
manner. This may takes some time, graceful is usually in no great hurry.
myself for example; I have been rather an extremist. I have run the ragged
edge of sanity in search of truth. That is how I had created myself. As a
daredevil spiritual adventurer with a bull headed determination to get to
the bottom of everything. I can change that creation pattern now (thank god)
and be just more of who I am in the first place. And what am I? At the bottom
of it all?
recent dance with death that I have had has instilled some wisdom along the
way and a wonderfully dramatic and public display of the fact that we are
creating our own reality right now. First I carefully created a cancer that
would not come upon me until after I was finished with some important contracts.
Then, with no medical insurance, no job, no car and no money, I manifested
the healers, the care taking, the food, transportation, lodging, medicines
and friends needed to cure myself of Cancer. I have radically detoxified my
cells in the last 30 days, lost 17 lbs and have a stronger immune system.
All of this help, knowledge and equipment was manifested literally right out
of thin air. No question about it on my part, I am creating this reality and
I am going to go on proving this in as spectacular a way as I can come up
with. I must admit I am a ham with a nose for drama. Who else would go dance
on the edge of his grave to make a point? Well don’t count on any more of
those stunts from me. But there is a lot to be done and wouldn’t it be nice
if we could just get started? I think so too.
woke up sometime during the night with the feeling that my lymph gland was
being squeezed really hard or like it was trying to turn itself inside out.
I got up in the dark and somehow managed to not step on Spirit’s body that
is always laid out at the foot of the bed and made to the bathroom to get
a couple of Advils and then into the kitchen of the place we just moved into
today so that I could drink some water. I lay awake for I don’t know how long
until the pills took effect and I could get to sleep. The treatment went well
today and I came home to do another Epsom salts bath to detox and once I recovered
from that (I take them hot really hot so that I sweat like mad in the bath,
so hot that the skin turns red.) I lay in the sun for a little while. Periodically
I have had pain today but the pain has been only off an on not just ON. This
is a great improvement. What I am having the opportunity to do with the exotic
wave form equipment and special herbal solutions is quite amazing. The Ozone
treatments were radical in one way and now this is all radical is its own
way. The size of the mass in my neck is reducing and that is very good news.
A product called Nano 2 from Bion industries is one of the compounds that
I am taking along with colloidal silver, Mega H and a Native American herbal
capsule. Quite amazing what I feel is happening in my body. It is fairly subtle
but my DNA seems to be being re-written or re-arranged. In the face of this
realignment of my whole system the mass in my neck is way out of place, not
natural and it is leaving. Boy are we havin fun yet? Quite amazing.
those Epsom Salt baths are really something. Each day after the Vibe treatment
I do a HOT bath with ozone bubbling into the salted water. After I have broken
a sweat and the water has cooled down enough not to burn too bad when I move,
I stand up. I do this carefully and deliberately. I have something to hang
on to because I am headed into altered states of consciousness and I am going
to feel faint. I let the waves roll through my body and the mind is moved,
view points shift and new understandings are the result. When I have my bearings
and the use of my muscles again I sit back down for 5 -10 minutes with the
water right under my chin and then stand up again. Pumping like this for about
30 minutes seems to be doing something special in my conscious evolution.
This is in conjunction with the daily Vibe Treatments, and +/- harmonizer,
taking the Nan 02 Miracle Bion Omega protocol with energy minerals- trace
elements and amino acids, using Mega-H, drinking raw, organic fruit and vegetable
juices and doing coffee enemas every other day or so. So with all of this
as a back ground the experiences I am having between consciousness are quite
extraordinary. I don’t even have words for some of these. Understandings dance
and reality tracks shift during these moments. It seems that it is possible
to choose a completely different past from what I glimpsed yesterday. And
while looking at this, I contacted an incident of my childhood were my mother
and sister had been tickling me and I was laughing so hard that I could not
breathe. I told them to stop but they would not so, I reached out to a place
were I was just observing what was going on and not really participating.
I allowed the sensations of them touching me and just felt the touch. By allowing
the touch rather than resisting the ticklishness went away. They could tickle
me as much as wanted even on the bottom of my feet and there was no tickle.
This pissed them off, they soon quit and they never tried tickling me again.
I used this same method in the verbal and physical attacks that I suffered
on the way to, at or after school during my grammar, junior high and high
school days. [My born name was Philip Louis Wieme (pronounced we –me) to
school children Weenie was my name) I would distance myself from the others
by not reacting or defending myself. I read by my self and became a bonified
nerd. (No dating until junior year and then, no, girl from my school.)
I learned a deep distain for my fellow students and a way to protect myself
that now I find has cut myself off from a degree of intimacy that many have
complained about in my relationships. I do find it very easy to stay unattached
to people. It could be my Aquarian nature but what I saw today has me believe
that I have cut myself off from people with an intellectual superiority complex,
and an over active analytical side because of fear of emotional and physical
pain. Even my experience with Scientology for those 9 years was reinforcement
for this way of thinking.
all the pain that I had been swallowing intellectually for all these years
now, because we all need to be very clear of the baggage, is coming up and
out through my throat with some very serious pain. I have to be thankful that
this is happening now to lighten my load the only way I would allow and to
open these doorways for my further growth with greater ease. In fact another
realization that came yesterday was that emotions have harmonics in frequency
just like music. I had been trying to contact a grief charge to that I could
release some of the emotional pressure that is quite evidentially there and
I was having no luck. What was right in my face is that I have no reason to
be in grief or pity for myself. I am only grateful that I am alive. It came
to me right then that gratitude, deep heart felt gratitude is the harmonic
of grief and that expressing gratitude is every bit the relief that balling
your eyes out over spilt milk will get you and You get the benefit of opening
to receiving more gifts at the same time. So there is going to be a ceremony.
This will be a ceremony of gratitude for my life and for my future that I
will do alone to begin with. I hope to celebrate the fall of the wall as well.
we received more acknowledgement on the contracts with final papers for signing.
And through all of this what do you know? The Mass in my neck has started to shrivel. I did not say shrink because that is not how it feels. The lymph gland feels like it is being squeezed or like it is shriveling up into itself. Very strange but the lymph gland is evidently in a pretty big hurry to get back to normal size judging by the amount of pressure/pain that is going on there.
squeeze away there buddy cause I don’t want my lymph to be a lump either.
night something broke loose in the pain in the jaw department. It was a whole
new kind of pain from a different place but still tied to the base of my tongue.
Some how the pain ran from my ear went along my jaw to the very tip of my
chin. I lay in the bed and calmed the whole area as much as I could and felt
the pain swelling and fading like a tide until it was still. I consciously
reached into the area to try to discover what the heck was going on. I don’t
remember what I saw if anything. None of it was making sense to me anyway.
I just started allowing the pain to be there and the whole situation to be
just as it was without a reason and some time later I fell asleep.
woke up this morning without the pain that was wracking my body last night
but with a more familiar back of the neck and headache pain. I worked on allowing
this pain to be there too and worked to release more stuck energy with finger
pressure points and a copper coil. It flowed out of my neck in the expression
of pain but at least I was controlling the level of pain.
my Vibe treatment I went in for another Epsom Salt bath and this time caught
sight of an incident were my mom is screaming at me to stop crying or she
will give me something to cry about and she did with a slap. I was shocked
that the one who I had always known as loving has now hurt me. I did stop
crying and it was probably the biggest mistake of my life. From then on Mom
would use that tactic to get me to not cry. Threats, accusations of being
a little girl (Big boys don’t cry) and of me being too sensitive and then
actual slaps or belt strikes to make me be quiet. And from behind these memories
up pops the ones where my mother is telling me that I will never amount to
anything more than your father because I was just like him. My mom wanted
more from life than my dad could supply and she wanted a good Christian man.
My father smoked and drank and would not go to church except on Christmas
or Easter and stayed away from the house and my mother as he could. So I was
going to be a dismal failure in my moms eyes and probably not go to heaven.
In fact she got very sure later that I was devil spawn and should go to a
mental institution. This never did happen because my parents could not afford
the charges for room and board at the Stilicam institute near Tacoma, WA. Good thing my dad was always broke huh? My
mother’s words of wisdom. Money is the root of all evil and the source of
all suffering, If you get too much they will come and take it away, this life
is a test against temptation at every turn pass the test by suffering here
on earth so that you can go to heaven and Philip, you will grow up to be nothing
but a no good dreamer who can’t make his way in the world.
didn’t see my dad or my mom die. I have not seen anyone die this life time
as yet. I did go to see my dad a day before he passed and my mother too a
year later when she was leaving. My father was a broken man but he gave me
a great gift. My father was filled with remorse. His heart was breaking from
all of the opportunities that he had passed by. All the hours he’d spent away
at work rather that with his family all of the business opportunities he would
have liked to try but just did not. He was a blubbering mass of sorry human
flesh the last I saw him. The gift? Seeing that kind of misery for having
not followed your heart. I believe that my dad gave his whole lifetime away
to show that lesson as a gift and that’s just the way I like to look at it.
I swore that I would not grow up to be anything as limited as who my father
was. I have already accomplished that goal. Now to climb out from under all
that other motherly advice. By the way I have forgiven my poor very frightened
mother. She was doing her best with what she was taught and besides I chose
those parents to set me up for this life and what is to come.
the lump has slid a little bit lower in my neck and is touching my vocal cords
in a slightly different way. It makes me feel like I am choking on something
most of the time with jets of pain that pass through when ever they want to.
The whole mass seems to be just a little bit smaller today also.